If the world is my oyster

where is my pearl?
For each step forward
I take two steps back.
Something is always
raining on my parade.
There’s never a prize
in my Cracker Jacks.

Sometimes it doesn’t pay
to get out of bed.
Always finishing second
no matter the race.
My choo-choo train dies
halfway up the hill.
I’m always left wiping
the egg off my face.

I don’t know what’s real
from what’s Memorex.
When I’m all dressed up
they cancel the show.
Motel Six doesn’t leave
the light on for me.
Can you hear me now?
I didn’t think so.